Dirty Linen in Moscow

Worshipping the Golden Calf

So on the day Obama says goodbye, The Walrus (aka Trump) has to deny an “unsubstantiated report” that he has indulged in an extensive dalliance with the Russians. Which bit is not true, I wonder? Getting two prostitutes to pee on his bed? Or bribery? Or extensive contacts between members of his team and Russian intelligence? If the Russians have video evidence of his antics at the Ritz Carlton, it’s a fair bet that the two girls performed more, shall we say, personal, services for the cameras than just a bout of voluntary incontinence.

Lies, all of it, goddamit! As The Donald says, it’s fake news. But what if there’s a teeny-weeny grain of truth in the allegations made by our present-day George Smiley?

No doubt the religious right will forgive him for his sexual weakness – if the report is true of course. After all, there must be a few pastors and God-fearing brethren out there who have fantasised about some of the stuff allegedly on offer in Moscow.

That he got a helping hand from the Tsar during the election campaign is more or less a given. Trump can easily deny being aware of Russian efforts on his behalf. But if his people did have frequent discussions with Putin’s spooks, then the implications are very clear. He’s Putin’s patsy.

But financial shenanigans? That’s entirely another matter. The American right – religious or not – takes Mammon very seriously. As for the pastors, The Walrus’s position on the Golden Calf should be pretty obvious to anyone who has seen the inside of Trump Tower. He’s a worshipper.

What happens next? The nine days between now and the inauguration should be very interesting. Will it be President Pence and Vice-President Ryan who take the oath? Only if Trump is dragged off screaming, kicking and, of course, tweeting. If the report prepared by a former British spook can be substantiated, his demise will be slower and more painful for all concerned.

Beware, Mr Trump. Our spooks don’t mess around. Not these days anyway.