About 14 months ago I posted a piece about the UK “Border Force”, in which I lamented that the organisation that employs the people responsible for greeting entrants to the United Kingdom have ceased to be a “service”, and are now a force.
I wrote that:
“I fear that once the old-timers have retired, we’ll be left with a “Force” of officials whose personalities are defined by their uniforms, and whose model of best practice is that of the shaven-headed hominids who think their mission is to keep America safe from child migrants, Muslims and Mexican drug mules.”
From “Oi you – welcome to the United Kingdom.” December 2018
Travelling through Heathrow yesterday there was a mercifully short line through the e-gates. But looking over to the booths staffed by the Border Force, it’s hard not to believe that my fears are becoming reality.
Not the hominid bit, because I didn’t get to interact with them so that I could gauge their progression from human to terminator. Nonetheless, the paunchy, comfortable-looking folks who manned the booths in times gone by seem to have gone.
The six guards I saw looked identical. All male. Aged 30-50. Fit, trim, each with shiny bald pates that did an excellent job of reflecting Terminal 5’s rather inadequate lighting. Black uniforms signalling serious intent. Ready to leap over their desks to confront the bad guys.
For all I know, they were pussy cats in uniform. However, that was not my experience last time I encountered one of them, as I described in the earlier post. Their shiny black uniforms are the work of the last female Home Secretary, one Theresa May. But given the reputation that Priti Patel, the current incumbent, is fast acquiring for bullying authoritarianism, I would say that the men in black are very much her style as well.
It’s ironic that when you arrive in Stockholm, as we did on our way home, you’re greeted by photos of eminent Swedes – artists, writers, athletes, airport workers and so on – most of them smiling. Whereas at Heathrow, once you’ve run the gauntlet of our diligent Border Force, the most striking image that awaits you is that of a glowering soldier in a bearskin. Goodbye EU, welcome to Britain.
It’s hard to escape the impression that this is what a hostile environment looks like. But trust me. It’s all a facade. Honest.