At last, a Minister who cares about the important things

Jacob Rees-Mogg’s decree specifying a style guide to be used by officials in his government department will doubtless win many new votes among pedants, angry residents of Tunbridge Wells, crossword fanatics and people who write letters to The Times beginning “Sir,…”.

While I applaud his attempt to bring clarity and consistency to official discourse, I’m sad that, unlike his boss, he doesn’t have the imagination to invent any new words that might make up for deficiencies in the English language he seeks to maintain in its pristine state – as it was taught in the classrooms of Eton when he was a boy.

To help him out, I offer a new word, a shimmering pearl of expression that will enrich the language:

Mogulation (n). 1 : The imposition of orthodoxy in insignificant matters by high officials. 2 : A decree (as in Papal Bull) demanding compliance of the faithful on pain of excommunication. (vi). : To mogulate.

In time, the meaning of mogulation will no doubt expand to include such statements as “we will leave the European Union come hell or high water on October 31^st 2019”. But for now, it describes the will of the God of Small Things.

How refreshing to find a new minister who from his lofty perch finds the time to deal with such matters.

Perhaps his next mogulation will be to define the difference between truth and lies.