I’ll have what he’s having

I read over the past couple of days that Donald Trump raised the possibility that Joe Biden has been taking “performance-enhancing drugs”. His ever faithful but somewhat dim-witted son Don Junior has made the same suggestion.

I think the intention was to show the public that without his magical medication, Biden would be a dribbling idiot. I hope the allegation relates to cognitive ability rather than any other kind of performance. For Trump to suggest that Biden needs Viagra would surely be a statement too far even for him. Though who knows, perhaps the president is talking from experience, because his own performance is also chemically enhanced.

Or perhaps he’s a shareholder in the pharmaceutical company that makes whatever Biden’s supposed to be taking. That would be very Trump.

Either way, the medication seems to be working for Biden, who, in recent videos of speeches and interviews, seems to be admirably coherent. More than can ever be said about Trump, unless he has an autocue feeding his words. Even then, as happened yesterday, he gets tangled up and has to ask for a re-wind.

If Biden is indeed taking some drug that keeps his mind clear and focused, I’d argue that that’s no bad thing. As we get older, we all need a little help in overcoming our senior moments. So why not?

Which, for those whose synapses aren’t working well enough to remember it, explains the title of this post, which is a tribute to the scene in When Harry Met Sally, when Meg Ryan simulates an earth-shattering orgasm in a restaurant. A relatively ancient fellow customer, when asked what she would like to order, replies: “I’ll have what she’s having”.